Want to know your partner? Ask questions! Here are 50.

How can you improve intimacy and engage with your partner? Talk. Quite simply, look into each other’s eyes and have a meaningful conversation. Below are fifty conversation starters for couples to help you get started. These conversation starters will help you to open up and maintain or reestablish your romantic connection– that initial spark that made things thrilling in the beginning of your relationship.

Whether you are looking to establish a closer connection, increase intimacy, learn more about your partner, or simply are looking for entertainment, these conversation starters will get you talking and learning more about each other while having fun doing it. Sit down with your partner and together and thoughtfully answer a few of the following questions and conversation topics.

  1. How do you picture your life in five years? In ten? Discuss your similarities and differences when it comes to the future.
  2. Describe your dream vacation. Create a timeline to make it (or a similar trip) come to fruition.
  3. How would you describe a hero? Who is yours? What heroic qualities does your significant other possess?
  4. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would purchase? What would you purchase for your partner?
  5. Name something you would like to do, but are scared to try.
  6. Write down three things that you love the most about your partner. See if they can correctly guess what is on yours.
  7. Describe a time when you were touched by someone’s kindness or compassion. How did it make you feel?
  8. Describe a time when someone hurt or betrayed you. Has this experienced affected your adult life?
  9. What was your first impression of your partner? Was it accurate? In what ways has your partner changed?
  10. What is your most embarrassing moment? Decide whose was worse.
  11. Describe, in detail, a significant event that changed you as a person. Was this a good or bad change?
  12. What is something that you would like to change about yourself? How can you achieve this? How can your partner help?
  13. What gives you “butterflies?” If you can recall, when was the last time you felt them?
  14. In what ways are you most similar to your partner? How are you different? Do these traits help or hinder your relationship?
  15. What outfit or type of clothing do you love seeing your partner wear? Do you remember what they were wearing on your first date?
  16. What kind of things do you consider romantic? Plan a romantic date night together or take turns planning a night out.
  17. Share a sexual fantasy or describe what your partner does that you enjoy the most in the bedroom.
  18. What is your favourite way to be touched (sexually or non sexually)?  Touch is an important part of a romantic relationship and activities such as massage can increase physical intimacy. For an easy to follow guide for couples who want to improve massage skills, check out this course.
  19. Is the glass half empty or half full? Has this outlook changed over the years? What do you think has affected this point of view?
  20. What is your biggest fear? What was your biggest fear as a child, teenager, young adult? Have they changed?
  21. What motivates you the most in life? What makes you feel discouraged or disengaged?
  22. What do you consider a relationship deal breaker? What did you consider a relationship deal breaker ten years ago?
  23. What is the scariest nightmare that you can remember? Together, try to interpret your dreams.
  24. How has your relationship changed since you started dating? Provide positive and negative examples.
  25. What is the strongest part of your relationship? What is the weakest? How can you improve the weak spots?
  26. What traits make you a compatible couple? Do opposites attract? Read this article for information on relationship compatibility.
  27. In relationships, how do you fight or act during a disagreement? As a couple, do you think you could improve how you handle disagreements? How?
  28. What is something you need to “let go.” How can you do this? How can your partner help?
  29. What are the important values in your life? Did your parents impart them on you?
  30. What characteristics make a strong marriage? Did you observe these characteristics growing up?
  31. How do you want to raise children? If you have children, on what factors do you place the most importance?
  32. Share a secret. Do you think couples should keep secrets?
  33. If all of your friends and family members were asked to describe you, who would provide the most accurate description?
  34. How would you describe your partner to a friend? How do you think your partner would describe you?
  35. When do you feel most like yourself? Why do you think this is?
  36. Describe your toughest battle? Did you win or lose? What did you learn from it?
  37. What was your favourite book or movie as a child? What did you love about it? Do you still enjoy the same type of stories?
  38.  What did you want to be when you were a little kid? Why?
  39. What would your childhood self-think of the person you’ve become? What advice would you give to him or her?
  40.  Do you consider yourself to be a spiritual person? Elaborate.
  41. Who is your celebrity crush? What attracts you to them?
  42. If you were describing your partner to someone else, what would you say?
  43. What controversial issue or topic do you feel strongly about?
  44. Recount a tough obstacle you faced and conquered as a couple. What helped you through it?
  45.  Brainstorm unique date ideas (and hopefully follow through with them).
  46.  When do you feel vulnerable? What makes you feel safe?
  47. Name a dream or goal that you never shared or thought possible.
  48. Describe the perfect day — what do you do and with whom is it shared?
  49.  How does your partner make you a better person? Look them in the eyes and thank them.
  50. Create a bucket list…together.

Addressing these conversation starters will not only introduce you to things you did not know about your partner but will open the door for even more conversations and bring you closer together. Making the time to incorporate meaningful conversation into your day or week will forge a stronger bond as partners, lovers, and friends. Deeper Connections: How to create Ultimate Relationships is a course designed to help build meaningful relationships that last. Relationships are not built overnight and are not effortlessly maintained. It takes work, dedication, and faith in one another. So, the next time you have a spare moment, put down your phones, open a bottle of wine, and enjoy becoming reacquainted with your significant other.

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